The Real Bennet Family
by TVH Bookfan
Summary: The Bennet family gets chosen to participate in a reality show following ordinary families for "educational" purposes, and all sorts of chaos follows. Their misadventures include being forced into a bachelor competition by their mother, spending time with their southern relatives, bad makeovers, manipulative friends, and dealing with at least one breakup.
1. The Real Bennet Family Trailer

**Hey all! It's been a while since I've written anything for Pride and Prejudice, but thinking back on an old story I attempted to write which included various Jane Austen characters taking part in The Real World, and not to mention all the craziness of reality TV in general, I was inspired to write a story where the Bennet family was featured in a reality show which deliberately pointed out all the clichés of reality TV, since what classic literary family was as dysfunctional and crazy as the Bennets? Various reality shows, both past and present, will be referenced here, and some other Austen characters will make guest appearances.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Pride and Prejudice**

 **Prologue: The Real Bennet Family Trailer**

From The Educational Channel (TEC):

 _A neat row of closely identical houses is seen, with Frank Sinatra's "Love and Marriage" playing in the background and a couple of people looking in the direction of the camera, giving off waves along with friendly smiles._

Narrator: Netherfield, California, home to more than two thousand residents. It's known for being a wholesome community that promotes family values, economic prosperity, and equality for all its people, and everywhere you look, you can see dozens of happy men, women, boys, girls, and animals who are exemplary of the community's vision.

 _Cuts to a shot of Helen Bennet going over her wardrobe, throwing aside a number of dresses on the floor in frustration._

Helen Bennet: Jim, where the hell is the red ball gown I wore during our honeymoon? I can't go to the Pemberley ball in any of the rags I've got in here!

Jim Bennet, calling out from the hallway: I think I donated it to Goodwill ten years ago, honey. I thought that someone much poorer than we're about to become could use some of the old luxuries which you throw aside until you find some sort of use for it a decade too late.

Helen, with an angry sigh: Oh, damn it, Jim! Now I'll never be able to help any of my poor girls win over all those rich bachelors!

Jim: Better for me; I never like having men walk all over my daughters.

Narrator: And then you've got the Bennets. They've been living together in Netherfield for the past twenty-three years, sometimes passing off as another happy, well-rounded family, but mostly getting on each other's nerves whenever they get the chance to speak. The first, and probably the most annoying, member of the family you'll meet is Helen Bennet. The way she sees the world, there are handsome and wealthy young men waiting around every corner to propose to one of her older daughters, and she sees it as her mission to make sure each of her daughters is able to marry one of them.

Helen: In this day and age, too many women believe they're capable of doing it all without a man. Although it may sound crazy to some, I've always found that to be nonsense. If that were true, half of all women nowadays would be single, and by single, I mean both being unmarried and without a boyfriend, instead of just a handful of them, as we're actually seeing. As result, there's just no question about it: all women should have a husband or boyfriend to remain fulfilled. As I always tell my girls, work if you want to, and have as much or as few kids as you'd like, but without a man, you'll never be happy.

Narrator: Then there's Jim Bennet, and in comparison to his wife, seems rather indifferent in manners regarding his daughters' romantic lives. As a matter of fact, he seems to find his wife more than a little crazy.

Jim: I just don't think the girls need this sort of thing at this point in their lives. Ever since leaving work two years ago, Hel has found herself without many ways of amusing herself, and so she's turned to the romantic lives of our daughters to pass time. I'm always telling her how unnecessary it is due to the fact that all the girls, or at least Jane, Lizzie, and Mary, have enough to keep them occupied for the next couple of years, meaning they'll have little time for a boyfriend even if they actually wanted one. But that's Helen, a silly woman who's always been convinced that the whole world shares her way of seeing things, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Narrator: And now, for the five lovely Bennet girls. The eldest is twenty-two-year-old Jane, who's just finished college and is looking to start a career in the fashion industry. She's probably the nicest of all the Bennets, but unfortunately, she may see a little too much good in some people.

 _Cuts to a scene of Jane Bennet, who's walking down the streets of downtown Netherfield with two women, Caroline and Louise Bingley, wearing nearly identical black dresses, whom both have very snarky looks on their faces as they look around the crowds of people walking by them._

Jane: So Caroline, what do you think of Netherfield so far? I think I must have shown you and Lucy all the best sights around town already _,_ so I hope that I've helped you two…

Caroline Bingley, with a fake smile on her face: Oh, Jane, I believe it's all absolutely lovely. If anything, suburban California makes Boston seem so dreary and boring in comparison.

 _However, upon turning to Louise, she rolls her eyes, gesturing towards the people on the streets in a manner which clearly shows her disgust for all the more common people around them. Louise, in return, giggles and makes a face, all as Jane turns away to say hello to an old family friend._

Narrator: Next is Elizabeth, who's known to her family, friends, and over 10 thousand Youtube viewers as Lizzie. She's the sensible one, being a Communications major who's trying to figure out what it is she'll do after graduating next year. So far, all looks well for her, since her Youtube channel, _Lizzie Tells It All,_ has already managed to give her more than a little recognition around the country. As a result, she believes she's prepared to tackle reality television more so than anyone else in the family.

Lizzie, speaking from an online video: Hi, everyone! As I told you all a couple months ago, my family sent in a tape to some executives at TEC to be considered for yet another "familmentary", or family documentary. Since three of the families who were originally considered turned out to be former cult members with police records that stretched a mile high, and two others were so dumb that they fed their contracts over to their dogs, the executives had no choice but to cast my family at the last minute. I don't think I've been more excited in my life! And yes, before you all panic and send me comments asking me when I'll come back and crying over how much you'll miss me, please know that Malcolm Tucker, the executive producer of our show, gave me permission to use part of what's filmed for _Lizzie Tells It All._ So, no worries; you'll all get to see me on both on your TV screens and your computer screens very soon. Wish me luck, and that's all today for this special message!

Narrator: After Lizzie comes nineteen-year-old Mary. Unlike her two older sisters, Mary isn't very interested in socializing unless it has something to do with her dozens of novels, her equal number of fandoms, which include _Harry Potter, Game of Thrones,_ and _Supernatural,_ or her questionable musical greatest desire appears to be to disappear from the real world and enter one of her beloved fantasy worlds. Unfortunately for her, she's going to have to deal a lot more with "The Real World" than she was previously accustomed to.

Lydia Bennet: Hey Mary, what house were you assigned to?

Mary: Well, the last time I took the Hogwarts quiz online, I got Hufflepuff…

Lydia: Not your Hogwarts house, stupid! I meant your house for the bachelor competition!

Mary: First off, don't call me stupid when you managed to only get a 16 on your practice ACT score. Second of all, that bachelor competition is completely ridiculous. You do know that half of the relationships that start off with those reality competitions end after six months, don't you?

Lydia: I don't care how long they last, so long as I'm able to get a good hookup with a guy that has good looks and money, just as Mom's always telling us to do.

Mary: Well, feel free to go on that trainwreck of a dating game if you want to; I'm going to spend a couple blissful hours journeying across the Seven Kingdoms once again.

Narrator: And last of all comes Kitty and Lydia, and no, I'm not mentioning them at the same time because they're twins. They're seventeen and fifteen, as a matter of fact. I'm mentioning them together because you can't have one without the other. Kitty, despite her amusing old fashioned nickname, probably has the least developed personality out of all the Bennets, and so she makes up for it by following her more outrageous sister Lydia around. As for Lydia, let's just say that her actions speak for themselves.

Lydia, flipping through an issue of _Tiger Bear:_ Kitty, by the time this show is over, I'm certainly going to appear on the cover of one of these magazines.

Kitty: But Lydia, you've never starred in a Disney Channel show or had a hit song before.

Lydia: Who cares? If you speak your mind and let the world know how big of a diva you are when getting the chance to appear in your own show, you're pretty much guaranteed to be a famous, and not just for fifteen minutes anymore. I mean, there's already enough great things about me which are in my favor. I'm the tallest despite being the youngest, I've starred in four high school productions so far, and I managed to get my first kiss when I was ten with none other than Cory Carlson, the hottest guy in the neighborhood, who's now a star basketball player in UCLA. I think that's more than enough to bring about all the good stuff which Mom's always talking about, don't you think?

Narrator: So as you can already tell, the Bennets are far from being an average family.

 _Cuts to a shot of Lizzie, Jane, and a toddler, their cousin Amy Gardner, who's wearing a lacy pink dress, chasing around a pig wearing red lipstick, who's running around a barn yard and scaring away a dozen birds._

Lizzie: Go faster, Jane!

Jane: How can I when the pig's a faster runner than the three of us combined?

Narrator: But they're also as real as your family or my own.

Jim: So who's going to help Mom with the cooking today?

Mary: I believe today was supposed to be Kitty's day to help out.

Kitty (coughing): Oh, no! It looks like my allergies are returning! Guess that means no cooking for me tonight.

Jim: Nonsense, Kitty. If your allergies were actually kicking in, you'd have been coughing for two hours straight right now. Looks like you can't get out of your chores today, my dear.

Narrator: If anything, they're just another real American family.

The Real Bennet Family: Coming to TEC soon.


	2. A Ball in 2016? No Way! Pt 1

**Chapter one: A Ball in 2016? No Way! Pt. 1**

 **July 2016:**

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a lot of money should consider seeking out a woman who both satisfies his romantic urgings and isn't just on the lookout for a fast and easy way to make herself rich through his unconditional love.

However, things get a little more complicated on reality television, since the constant attention given to participants, regardless of their socioeconomic level or personality, tends to blur the line between who's rich and who's poor, and who's sincere in their interactions with others and who's just putting their acting skills to the test. Since all subjects are being watched, they're all equally fascinating in the eyes of their easily satisfied viewers, and therefore, can break as much of the commonly accepted rules of love as they please and know that all will go well for them at the end, even if it's only temporarily.

All of this was what Helen Bennet was thinking as she arrived home after one of her most exciting coffee gatherings since the cameras started rolling. Dressed as presentably as possible in one of her favorite blue blouses (which was also, thankfully enough, one she'd managed to buy very recently thanks to the generous allowance their executive had given them), a white, frilly skirt, and platform high heels, she'd managed to get Karen Long worked up long before she got the chance to share the good news. Having a broke friend suddenly dressed so wonderfully was certainly shocking for her, but everyone watching her would pass this off as usual for another bored housewife trying to pass off as glamorous; the same would probably go for her daughters when seen at this event Karen had just invited her to.

"Jim!" she called out after slamming the door a little too carelessly (Jim hated it when she did this). "Jim, I've got great news for you!"

Jim Bennet, who's seated in an armchair going over three bills, one of them which is a month overdue, wearing the same old t-shirt and jeans as he can be seen in on any non-working day, shouts back, "Helen, I think the only good news you could give me at this point would be that you'd just won the lottery."

"This is probably even better than that!" Helen answered back excitedly, taking a seat on the couch and pulling up an envelope from her dark leather bag. "This afternoon, at exactly three o'clock, Karen gave me an invitation from a newcomer at Netherfield, inviting us to an actual ball this Saturday. Can't you believe it? These newcomers must be really fancy, not to mention generous, if they're willing to have an event like this as soon as they move in."

Jim laughed in response. "A ball in 2016? That must be some kind of joke, Hel, unless we're dealing with some very old-fashioned people here. Perhaps they're Amish or something, which wouldn't be so bad so long as they're not trying to share the show with us. Filming seven people must be tough enough without including someone exploring the outside world for the first time."

"Nonsense, Jim. TEC just recently finished shooting for the newest season of _Amish Teens_ , after all, so there's little chance of that happening. These people happen to be the family of a young business heir from Boston named Charles Bingley. Being a businessman yourself, I'd be surprised if you haven't heard of him."

"Oh, believe me, I know almost everything about the Bingleys," Jim said. "Alexander Bingley made a fortune in the eighties selling used cars, first through a rented building in the suburbs of Boston, and then through the Bingley Motors Headquarters in the city itself by 1989. According to all major business news sources, his oldest son Charles is set to take on his company by the time Alexander retires in 2020, although there was a lot of competition amongst himself and his sister Caroline for this position, and when he ended up getting it at the end, Caroline never completely got over it."

"And you're trying to tell me that all this family drama made it into _Consumer Reports_?" Helen asked jokingly.

"Not in that particular magazine, but a couple of others do give reports of competition amongst siblings for the title of heir to a family company," Jim explained.

"Well, perhaps that means I should try reading all those magazines you bring home more often," Helen said, "Because if we want to impress Charles Bingley in any way, then we should certainly…"

"Helen, I don't want to hear anything about your crazy schemes," Jim said impatiently. "Why don't you just show me the invitation for now?"

"Why, of course! When you see how beautiful it is, it will probably increase your interest in the ball," Helen answered, handing the invitation over to him, with a cover featuring a classic style illustration of a couple in eighteenth century clothing dancing graciously around a large ballroom, with "You're Invited!" written in gold calligraphy. On the inside, the following was written:

The Bennets are cordially Invited to

The First Summer Netherfield Ball

Saturday, July 15 2016

"Well, at least we know the Bingleys are sophisticated when it comes to hospitality. I don't think you can even find those personalized invitations at the Hallmark Store," Jim said, who always had the affordability of things in mind lately, especially with the large amount of debt he was facing.

"Does that increase your interest in going to their ball at all?" Helen asked, with a look that clearly indicated how desperate she was to pique her husband's interest in the event.

"What I keep wondering, Hel, is how the Bingleys already know who we are," Jim responded. "I mean, I'm nothing but a small convenience store owner who's barely able to keep the family at middle class, and you're a former southern belle who 'retired' from your beautician job because you mistakenly thought I'd be making enough for support the whole family for another five years…"

"Jim, that's enough! You're making me sound like a fool in front of thousands of people!" Helen complained.

"The more honest we can be to the world, the better it is for the viewers at home to know who we really are," Jim said.

 _On Interview_

Helen: Jim seems to take so much pleasure in humiliating me and the girls. The other day, he told me how foolish I was to put the cooking aside for two hours while I was giving myself a manicure. A modern woman's life can't just revolve around cooking and cleaning, as everyone seems to know except for Jim, that is. Keeping ourselves looking good and making sure we have a social is equally as important for us women. And then he goes around scolding Kitty and Lydia for taking too much selfies with their phones, saying that if they want to take pictures, that they should include the whole family. I mean, has he looked at all the horrific family portraits we've taken over the years, with my sister Joanna calling me and asking if that was the best we were capable of taking together when so many of the photos taken of us individually looked so much better? I swear, that man never thinks of anyone other than himself.

Jim: The more attention Helen is able to draw towards other people, the happier she is. If you had seen her in our earlier years together in the eighties, that's all she ever seemed to want from me, loving it when I showered her with compliments on her looks and charming personality. Being young back then, I always liked pleasing the ladies as often as I could, and because since I seemed to be Hel happier than any other woman I'd been with at the time, I thought we would be right for each other. But of course, once you spend your whole life with someone, you get to know them better over time, and unfortunately, what I learned about Helen wasn't at all pleasing.

"As for the Bingleys," Helen responded to her husband's snarky remark, wanting to avoid an argument, "I think they found out about us through Karen, seeing as how we've been friends for so long and she has a connection with the richer people in town on account of her brother Luke Ferris being Netherfield's most successful car salesperson."

"Yeah, so successful on account of all the fraud he committed ten years ago," Jim scoffed.

"Don't start with that business again, Jim. Luke was found innocent, after all," Helen said defensively.

"If the court says so. I just base this all on what I hear through business reports," Jim said.

"Anyway, one of the first places Charles Bingley was seen in Luke's auto shop. Being as open to company as you can expect from such a gentleman like Luke, he immediately expressed great interest in this new customer, introducing himself warmly and asking what he could help him with. Charles turned out being equally nice towards him, telling him that he was new in Netherfield, having moved in with his sisters to join some relatives who'd come here upon retiring. Of course, as soon as he heard his name, Luke got so excited, and immediately asked him if he was interested in doing business with him. Charles denied the offer, saying that he was going to take a break after all these years of helping his father out after graduating from college, and that the only thing he wanted to do at this point was to find a way to get to know all of the citizens of Netherfield by getting the chance to bring them all together while doing something fun for once, since he finds it somewhat saddening how people in the suburbs distance themselves so much from their neighbors, as is usually the case in the cities."

"And creating a ball was the best he could come up with? Hel, I'm pretty sure most people in this town would be more satisfied with a barbeque or community picnic than an old-fashioned dance. I myself could care less for dancing, since it brings back all sorts of bad memories from my high school days, and many of our friends would probably feel the same."

"I'm afraid you're wrong, Jim," Helen answered with a smile. "So far, thirty people have RSVP'd for the event, even though those invitations have been going around for only two days now! Karen Long and Luke Ferris, of course, are among those who have already accepted. Our friends the Lucases have accepted as well, with Charlotte in particular getting excited about meeting Charles."

"I thought Charlotte wasn't all that interested in rich men," Jim said.

"Jim, please! What girl wouldn't excited about a rich bachelor coming to town? Besides, Charlotte seemed to be most happy for Lizzie and Jane, since she's convinced that above all the other girls in town, they'll be the ones who'll get along more easily with the Bingleys," Helen told him.

"Now that sounds more like Charlotte," Jim said with an approving nod.

"But I don't like how she just pointed out Jane and Lizzie. Is she really that convinced that Mary, Kitty, and Lydia will have nothing to offer?"

"Well, look at it this way, Hel: Mary has little interest in men whatsoever unless they share her interest in whatever book or fantasy series she's obsessed with at the moment, Kitty can't seem to make any decisions for herself, and Lydia is just a younger version of yourself, albeit a little more clever when it comes to getting her own way."

"Jim, if you can't find anything good to say about the girls, then why don't you just...?"

But before she could go on, Dexter, the family's golden retriever, ran into the house, followed by the five Bennet girls (along with two cameramen) entering in what seemed to be a big hurray, either because they couldn't wait to be back with their parents, or they'd just an interesting day themselves and wanted to share the full details.

Jim: And once again, I'm saved from another of Hel's complaints by my girls. As silly as they can be sometimes, I often prefer to deal with their dozens of mishaps more so than just one of Helen's silly talks.

 **A big thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favored this story! In response to the guest review, the fact that Lydia's participating in a bachelor competition at such a young age is part of this show's humor, further proving the point that pretty much anyone can get what they want on a reality show regardless of who they are or even their age in some cases. Just look at Toddlers and Tiaras or Teen Mom to see what kind of things people can get away with.**

 **In the next part, we'll see whether the Bennet girls are already aware of the first ever Netherfield Ball, and how they'll react to what their mother's plans for them on this special occasion.**


End file.
